Thursday, July 10, 2008

How to get out of cooking!

For quite some time now my pasta sauce has been the source (pardon the pun) of much mirth, hilarity and down right derogatory remarks from the kippers. Everytime I make it I get the same comment from them, "it doesn't taste like Nonnas" and I alway say it does, it's exactly the way she told me to make it. Then an episode of Everyone Loves Raymond pops into my head. Remember the one where Maree had given Debra her recipe for meat loaf I think and unbeknownst to Debra, Maree had deliberately left out a key ingredient. But my mother in law wouldn't do that, she loves me and according to the rest of the family she thinks the sun shines out of my bottom. Then I hear them mumbling words like "vile", "poison", "trying to kill us". So when the kippers ask whats for dinner and I say pasta, they all of a sudden have urgent and pressing errands they have to run and sorry they won't be home for dinner.
Or because I want to know how many I'm cooking for I'll send out a text message:
R U Hme 4 T. (you can tell I'm a baby boomer).
They'll text back, What r u cooking? (how come I can never find the question mark on my phone)
Sorry, I've got book club. BOOK CLUB! That boy has probably read 3 books in his life, all with words like Godfather, Mafia and Underbelly in the title. Book if.
Then the kipperette texts back:
Sorry, have important meeting after work. Yeh I'll bet, important meeting at some swanky bar drinking Cab Sav and eat tapas with the girls.
So then a few week ago, on one of the numerous days when the thought of deciding what to cook and then stopping on the way home to pick up the ingredients, then lugging it all inside and putting it away and then getting it all out again to start cooking was just too much to bare, it dawned on me. Send out the Pasta text and no one will be home for dinner and Chas and I can just have scrambled eggs! It works a treat.
Guess what's 4 dinner 2nite!!!!!


  1. That is so funny.... I know that if my mother knew that the grandchildren were running from your cooking of pasta sauce, she would be stocking your fridge up so that they were not starving. She would be so concerned, actually I could ask her to come over to your place and help you make it every time you try. That would be interesting, she would run around using her index finger over your furniture and maybe hinting that it needs cleaning.

    Well not true, she would not run her index finger over the furniture she would probably try to point it at you, but then again maybe she won't as she thinks the sun shines from your bottom.

  2. I'm not home for dinner tonight!

  3. Tell the kipper & kipperette that "Aunty" Bronwyn would like the recipe & please will you make it when we visit in 2 weeks time. I expect them to attend that meal!!!

  4. This is classic Davinia! What a great idea....only problem is my hubby is a goat and will eat anything!