Thursday, February 19, 2009

Demoralised and Deflated

My best friend Carmen and I talk everyday on the phone, sometimes 2 or 3 times a day. The main topics of our converstations are cooking, cleaning, kids (well adult kids) the state of the world, TV and the best way to remove soap scum from the bathroom tiles and not necessarily in that order. We both hate cooking even though Carmen is a fantastic cook. She could turn a can of spam, some grated lemon rind and a bunch of wilted broccoli into a gourmet meal, I kid you not. Me, well I'd just phone Dominoes. This is a conversation we had a few months ago which will explain the title of this post.
C. Hi you, what have you been doing.
D. Lord, I'm exhausted I've just finished cleaning my bedroom from top to bottom.
C. Did you dust the ceiling and walls?
D. Whaaaaa! (note to self, find out if other people do that)
C. Did you shift the furniture away from the walls and vacuum behind?
D. Are you kidding? I'd need 3 sumo wrestlers to lift that bloody dressing table.
C. Did you empty all your drawers, vacuum out the dust, get rid of the junk and put everything back neatly?
D. No (Lord, that would take a week on it's own)
C. Did you empty the wardrobe, vacuum inside, pack up all the clothes you don't want for Good Sammys, put everything back colour coded?
D. Nooooooo.
C. Did you take down the curtains, wash them, iron them and then re-hang them?
D. Are you kidding? My double bed sheets that have been masquerdaing as curtains for the last ten years. They'd disintergrate.
C. Did you dust and polish the skirting boards?
D. Get real!!!!!!
C. Did you wash the windows?
D. Don't be ridiculous!
C. So what did you do?
D. Changed the bed sheets (king size bed, you know how hard they are to make), vacuumed and dusted all the obvious surfaces, oh and windexed the mirror. I can actually see my reflection now. Blech!!!!!
C. Ok, talk you tomorrow.
D. K........bye. Oh, I confused you. You thought this was my bedroom? As if.......... in my dreams.
And if you want to know how to get rid of soap scum. Easy, never, ever, under any circumstances allow bars of soap into your bathroom. Put them in your knickers drawer or linen cupboard (smells good). Use shower gel.


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