Sunday, May 9, 2010

A Mothers Day Letter


Because I cannot be with you on mother's day this year I have decided to bestow upon you the gift that keeps on giving; I think it is time for you to start teaching me how to sew. I feel it is your duty as a mother to bestow upon your only daughter the necessary skills needed to survive in this world. I think you would agree that you are teetering on the brink of failure with the skills needed to adequately prepare food that consists of anything more complicated than eggs on toast (although I hasten to add here that I do make a pretty mean poached eggs).

It is also no secret that I have grown up with a certain fondness for fashion or as you have so eloquently put it many times "you have champagne taste on a beer budget Brighita". So I would like to propose a weekly mother-daughter class where by you may pass on your sewing skills and I may start saving my champagne pennies for more important purchases like oh I don't know.... somewhere to live etc etc.

I would also like the opportunity to one day, in the very, very, very, far away future to have a legacy which I may pass onto my daughter.

So with that in mind, please send me your availabilities so that I may schedule in an appropriate time.

Love you mummy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

B xoxoxoxoxoxooxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoDearest Darling Daughter

I too am sad we won't be together on Mothers Day. Find a surrogate Kiwi mother and spend the day with her. I'm sure she will be a much better cook than I. I can't understand why people don't realise that if you add something green, poached eggs on toast is a complete meal.
Sewing.......I recall when my mother, your grandmother, was teaching me to sew it wasn't the most pleasant of experiences. Being somewhat poor in those days, she would keep reminding me as I was very nervously cutting out a pattern, "that material cost three shillings and sixpence a yard so don't ruin it" or, "that seam is too wide", "the hem is crooked" "I don't know how many times I've told you that's not the way to sew in a zip" ....etc. So the whole sewing thing was rather fraught.
But I'm game if you are.
As for scheduling. Well evenings are taken up with rather a lot of TV, but I could possibly fit you in between Home and Away and Glee, or Desperate Housewives and Brothers and Sister.
Saturdays are taken up with your Grandmother and you know what I'm like when I get home from there. Slightly non compos and in need of a cup of tea and a lie down.
So that leaves us with if you can rise from your bed before lunch time I'm sure we could achieve quite a lot between your yoga class and drinkies with the girls at the Queens and I promise I won't ever say "that material cost $18.00 a metre, so don't ruin it."
Love and miss you too...............Mummzzee xxxxxxxxxxxxxx


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